A Song On A Page
by Mossnose
Summary: This is a series of songfics about the songs that I want to put on my pets' pet pages. Be sure to check them out!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I know, I know; I keep posting new stories while not updating old ones. This idea just popped into my mind and I needed to type it up before it got away. This is a series of songfics using the songs that I want to get on my Neopet's pet pages. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Neopets, but I do own my pets and the two made-up ones; Shylieanna and Zennicus. All of the songs are the property of their respective artists.

**A Song On A Page**

_Kiri – Nobody's Home_

"Shut up!"

"_You_ shut up!"

"I just can't stand you! You're so stubborn!"

"I can't stand you either! You're so obnoxious!"

"I can't handle you anymore, Kiri! I hate you!"

"I wish that kattjc had just left you at that pound when we found you!"

Kiri1122150460146 put her paw over her mouth, but it was too late; those words had come out. Her younger sister, keliza769689 gasped, and her eyes were brimming with tears. Kiri took a few steps back, then bolted outside into the rain. Now Keliza was starting to get scared; a storm was supposed to hit tonight.

As Kiri ran, tears began to fall from her eyes. Why did she have to let that slip out? Keliza was her _little sister_! It was horrible of her to talk to her like that. She slipped in a mud puddle and fell flat on her face, tears streaking down her cheeks and mud splattering all over her clean yellow fur. Slowly she got up and continued to run farther away from the place in Neopia Central that she once called home. As she ran, the song from her pet page began to play in her mind.

_I couldn't tell you_

_Why she felt that way_

_She felt it everyday_

_And I couldn't help her_

_I just watched her make_

_The same mistakes again_

The storm outside grew worse, but still Kiri ran. She needed to get away, and no storm was going to stop her. She was not going to turn back and run home… no. She _had_ no home now.

_What's wrong what's wrong now_

_Too many too many problems_

_Don't know where she belongs_

_Where she belongs_

Why did she have to say that? She knew Keliza was sensitive about the fact that she had been adopted from the pound, so why did she have to say that? She cared about her little sister, and would do anything for her. So why did this fight even happen? She continued running and soon found a cave to rest in.

_She wants to go home_

_But nobody's home_

_That's where she lies_

_Broken inside_

_With no place to go_

_No place to go_

_To dry her eyes_

_Broken inside_

She couldn't go home now; not after how she acted. Even if she apologized it wouldn't make a difference. Keliza would probably still hate her, and kattjc would probably abandon her. She couldn't undo the damage, but there was no way she was going to the pound. She would live in the wild now, fending for herself.

_Open your eyes_

_And look outside_

_Find the reasons why_

_You've been rejected_

_And now you can't find_

_What you've left behind_

She wondered if anyone would miss her. Keliza wouldn't, kattjc wouldn't, her brothers and other sister probably wouldn't, the Petpets might… Faeriepaw! What about Faeriepaw? Would _she_ miss her? She knew that she'd miss that sweet little Noil face staring at her every morning until she woke up, then she would bounce around begging for food. Too late now; there was no way she could go home to say even the smallest goodbye.

_Be strong be strong now_

_Too many too many problems_

_Don't know where she belongs_

_Where she belongs_

Thunder rumbled outside and she shivered. She _hated_ thunderstorms. She wished that her little Noil friend was with her to comfort her, but there was no one; she was all alone. She then started wondering if running away was such a good idea after all. She started to hum the song from her page when she suddenly heard a voice outside in the storm.

"Kiri! Kiri! Where are you?! Please answer me!"

_She wants to go home_

_But nobody's home_

_That's where she lies_

_Broken inside_

_With no place to go_

_No place to go_

_To dry her eyes_

_Broken inside_

"Keliza?" she said in astonishment. She came all the way out this way in a storm looking for _her_? She was surprised; she thought that Keliza hated her. Soon enough, Kiri saw a familiar green Gelert entering the cave.

"Kiri! Are you alright? Why'd you run away like that? And out in a storm this bad? You're lucky you didn't get roasted by lightning!"

_Her feelings she hides_

_Her dreams she can't find_

_She's losing her mind_

_She falling behind_

_She can't find her place_

_She's losing her faith_

_She's falling from grace_

_She's all over the place yeah_

"Why did you come all the way out here? I thought you hated me," Kiri muttered.

"Kiri, I was angry. I said some things that I didn't mean. I really do care about you; that's why I hate it so much when we fight," Keliza explained.

"Me too. I'm really sorry about what I said earlier; every last word of it," Kiri said sadly.

_She wants to go home_

_But nobody's home_

_That's where she lies_

_Broken inside_

_With no place to go_

_No place to go_

_To dry her eyes_

_Broken inside_

"Come on, let's head home; storm's clearing up," Keliza pointed out.

"Good thing too; I need a nice warm bath at home after this," Kiri said with a sigh.

"Me too, although it's pretty hard to bathe when your owner doesn't have a bathtub," Keliza commented.

"True, but she's doing it for us; she really wants to keep her promise to get us all painted," Kiri replied.

"Yeah."

_She's lost inside lost inside oh oh_

_She's lost inside lost inside oh oh_

"By the way Kiri, what were we even arguing about in the first place?" Keliza asked.

"We were arguing over who had the cuter Petpet, me or you," Kiri answered, "and come to think of it, that's a kinda stupid thing to be arguing about."

"Yeah, you're right. Let's hurry and get home; we're really starting to smell, and I can think of quite a few people who are probably worried about us by now," Keliza said.

Kiri nodded and smiled; she _did _have a home after all.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: So what do you think? Great? Good? Stupid? Bad? Terrible? R&R to let me know! Keliza's up next!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well, here it is; the next part of it. This one is about the song on Keliza's pet page. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: See the last chapter.

**A Song On A Page**

_Keliza – My Immortal_

All was quiet in Neopia Central one night, except for one young Gelert. Keliza was twitching in her sleep, tossing and turning with slight whimpering. She couldn't stop thinking about her past, and now she was dreaming about it. As she dreamt, the song from her pet page began to play in her mind.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

'_Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

Keliza remembered being left in a small cage all alone. She was hungry and she wanted to go home. Many of the painted pets and pets with Petpets got adopted, but since she was so plain, no one would probably want her. She would always cry herself to sleep in the night.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

One day, she noticed a girl entering the pound. Three nervous pets; a yellow Kougra, a green Lupe, and a green Techo, followed her in. She heard the girl whisper words of encouragement to the pets and speak to the Uni with her keen Gelert hearing.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears_

_And I held your hand through all these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

"Alright then, miss kattjc, go in and pick out whichever pet you like best," the Uni said. The girl walked in and looked around, her pets close behind. The girl stopped in front of a sick yellow Gelert and looked interested. Keliza lay down sadly, knowing that she wouldn't get picked. The girl left the Gelert, however, to look around some more, and another Neopian adopted the Gelert. Keliza whimpered slightly; she could tell that she'd be here for a long time.

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

Why did she have to be left in this awful place? There was no way she would ever get out. She tried escaping fifteen times previously, and those had resulted in multiple untreated wounds across her body. She cried, thinking that she was doomed to remain in this horrible place forever. All the while she could never stop thinking about her previous owner. She didn't remember much about her previous owner; just that her owner left her here so long ago. When would she ever be free?

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

She then noticed that someone was looking in her cage. It was the yellow Kougra from before. The two of them locked eyes and the Kougra spoke up.

"Hi. My name's Kiri. What's yours?"

"keliza769689," she replied.

"Can I just call you Keliza?" Kiri asked.

"Sure, if you'd like. We won't be seeing each other again, though, seeing as there's no way your owner would want a scraggly Gelert like me. She'll probably get a fancier pet," Keliza said with a sigh.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears_

_And I held your hand through all these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

"Why would she want a fancy pet? She's one of the many Neopians out there who care about pets like you. She's been looking for a female pet to balance the ratio of males to females, a Gelert because she likes Gelerts, and green's her favorite colour. I'm the only yellow pet in the family," Kiri said. She then turned to the side.

"Hey kattjc! Over here!" she called. The girl walked over to her, the other two pets in tow. She bent down and looked at Keliza, as did the other pets.

"She looks roughed up. What happened, sweetie?" the Lupe asked.

"Howler, no flirting; I thought I explained that already," the girl said gently, "but I'm curious about it too. How'd you get so badly injured?"

"I tried to escape, and I'd always end up getting hurt. I gave up after the fifteenth try. I almost gave up hope of getting out of here," Keliza answered.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

"Wait right here, you three; I'll be right back," kattjc said calmly. She stood and slowly walked to the front desk. She spoke with the Uni for a moment, then came back to the cage and opened the lock.

"Well, guys, you now officially have a new sister," kattjc said with a smile. "She's older than you two boys, but younger than Kiri, so that makes her the second oldest." She then bent down and gently picked up Keliza. "Time to head home, guys."

"We don't have a house yet, remember?" the Techo said.

"Just because we don't have a house doesn't mean we don't have a home. Besides, now that I have four pets, I'll start building the house," she answered. "We've got to clean these wounds or else you'll get sick," she said to Keliza. Keliza just smiled and closed her eyes.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears_

_And I held your hand through all these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

Keliza now woke up back in reality. Her Babaa, Seapaw, was snuggled up next to her and she smiled. She was glad to be home at last.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: How'd I do? Next is Howler!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here's the song from Howler's pet page for your enjoyment. R&R!

Disclaimer: See previous chapter.

**A Song On A Page**

_Howler – Poison_

Howler572 sighed as he traveled through the Haunted Woods towards Neovia. He was going to get to see _her_ again! His heart skipped a beat every time he thought about her, but he couldn't have her. He was just so addicted to her! His mind went back to the song on his pet page, and he played it again in his mind.

_Your cruel device_

_Your blood like ice_

_One look could kill_

_My pain, your thrill_

He knew for a fact that she loved watching him get hurt. One time he was wandering around the Deserted Fairgrounds and had an accident involving a crazy Eyrie, his Warf Sharppaw and the Test Your Strength machine. He heard something after he came to; laughter. He had turned his sharp Lupe eyes towards the source of the laughter and noticed her laughing. She found his pain funny, so whenever he was in her presence, he would hurt himself badly, make it look like an accident, and listen to the sweet sound of her laughter.

_I wanna love you but I'd better not touch_

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

_I wanna kiss you but I want it too much_

_I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous_

_Poison_

_You're poison runnin' through my veins_

_You're poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains_

He was hopelessly addicted to her, but he couldn't have her. However, it was already too late for him. She was under his skin, like a poison that he just couldn't get enough of. He longed for her; longed to see her, to hear her voice. Even though many Neopians couldn't see it, she was truly a fox. He wanted her so much, but it was impossible.

_Your mouth, so hot_

_Your web, I'm caught_

_Your skin, so wet_

_Black lace on sweat_

Sometimes he would peak in through her window to watch her at work. After she was done working very hard, he would always see her wiping the sweat from her brow. She looked even more ravishing when she was covered in sweat; it made her hair shine. His heart fluttered at the mere thought of seeing her like that again.

_I hear you calling and it's needles and pins_

_I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name_

_Don't wanna touch you but you're under my skin_

_I wanna kiss you but your lips are venomous_

_Poison_

_You're poison runnin' through my veins_

_You're poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains_

_Poison_

He wanted to be by her side, always, but they could never be together. They came from two different worlds, and she didn't like him anyway. He wanted to hear her calling out his name, begging him to be with her, but it would never happen. That didn't stop him though!

_One look could kill_

_My pain, your thrill_

"Now, should I use a few pick-up lines, or just go in for the kill?" he said to himself. He was planning on asking her out, and he wanted to impress her so much there'd be no chance of rejection. Taking a few deep breaths as he stood outside her door, he raised a paw and knocked.

_I wanna love you but I'd better not touch_

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

_I wanna kiss you but I want it too much_

_I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous_

_Poison_

_You're poison runnin' through my veins_

_You're poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains_

_Poison_

The door opened, and there she stood in all her beauty. He had prepared himself especially for this day. He had combed his fur and put on his new tuxedo. He had brushed and flossed his teeth very well, and even borrowed his little brother's cologne. He cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Hi there, Sophie."

_I wanna love you but I'd better not touch_

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

_I wanna kiss you but I want it too much_

_I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous_

_Poison_

_Well I don't wanna break these chains_

_Poison_

_Runnin' deep inside my veins_

_Burnin' deep inside my veins_

_Poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains_

_Poison_

"What do you want?" Sophie answered grumpily. Howler had been waiting for this moment all day. He prepared to speak his feelings towards the swamp witch out loud, in a way so that she couldn't reject him.

"I just can't get enough of you, Sophie. You're like a poison that I'm hopelessly addicted to. All day and all night I long for the sound of your voice. I long for the feeling of my lips against yours, you foxy beauty. I long to be by your side always, so I'll ask you this now; will you be my girlfriend?"

Sophie stared for a moment, then brought her wand down on top of his head with a loud clunk. "Pervert!" she yelled angrily. "You're way too young! And you're so annoying! I wouldn't date you if you were the last male on Neopia!"

"Alright," Howler said with a shrug, "Your loss." He staggered away, still dazed, until he fell into the swamp water. He surfaced, but was then grabbed by a tentacle and repeatedly hit against the ground on the shore. He smiled despite his pain; he again heard her sweet laughter. When he finally got loose, he turned around and faced her one last time.

_Someday, Sophie, you will be mine._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

A/N: So, how was it? Chuckles is next!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Here's the chapter for Chuckles. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: See last chapter.

**A Song On A Page**

_Chuckles – I'm Bad_

Chuckles373 wasn't as much a flirt as his older brother Howler, but he did try his hardest to be cool and attract girls. He slid on some lotion to make his Techo scales shine, he put on his 'bling', and he slipped on his coolest shades. He was ready to face the girls of the world. His pet page song came into his mind, and he instantly knew why kattjc had picked it.

_Your butt is mine_

_Gonna take you right_

_Just show your face_

_In broad daylight_

_I'm telling you_

_About how I feel_

_Gonna hurt your mind_

_Don't shoot to kill_

_Jump on, jump on_

_Lay it on me_

_Alright_

Chuckles loved flirting with girls; it made him feel cool. Howler wasn't as cool as he was because he tried too much. Plus, he only flirted with one girl; Sophie. What did Howler see in her? He just didn't know, and he didn't really care.

_I'm giving you_

_On count of three_

_To show your stuff_

_Or let it be_

_I'm telling you_

_Just watch your mouth_

_I know your game_

_What you're about_

Chuckles snapped his tail like kattjc would snap her fingers and winked at a few nearby girls. They swooned, and he smiled. He was bad, he was cool, he was a 'babe magnet'. He loved watching girls swoon over him, but he only did it for fun. He loved watching girls compete for his attention, and maybe he would end up picking one of them.

_Well they say the sky's the limit_

_And to me that's really true_

_But my friend you have seen nothing_

_Just wait till I get through_

_Because I'm bad, I'm bad_

_Jump on_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_You know it_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_Jump on, you know_

_And the whole world has to answer right now_

_Just to tell you once again who's bad_

Chuckles showed off his 'bling', catching the eyes of a few more pretty girls. He loved the attention, and he loved showing up his big brother. Being the third-youngest in a family of six had few benefits; this was one of them. He had a big brother to show up, and a little brother to try to impress. However, Zennicus was too insane to really impress.

_The word is out_

_You're doin' wrong_

_Gonna lock you up_

_Before too long_

_Your lyin' eyes_

_Gonna tell you right_

_So listen up_

_Don't make a fight_

_Your talk is cheap_

_You're not a man_

_You're throwin' stones_

_To hide your hands_

Chuckles' Petpet, Rockpaw the Anubis, trotted beside him, his golden collar gleaming in the sunlight. Chuckles smiled at his Petpet; he would never trade him for anything. He had taught his Petpet everything he needed to know about being cool. Now Rockpaw was just as cool as he was.

_Well they say the sky's the limit_

_And to me that's really true_

_But my friend you have seen nothing_

_Just wait till I get through_

_Because I'm bad, I'm bad_

_Jump on_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_You know it_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_You know it, you know_

_And the whole world has to answer right now_

_Just to tell you once again who's bad_

He wondered if Howler had managed to get anywhere with Sophie. Just flirting with one girl wasn't going to make him cool. That's why Chuckles flirted with so many; to prove that he was _bad_. Howler had never managed to get as much attention as he did, and he liked that.

_We can change the world tomorrow_

_This could be a better place_

_If you don't like what I'm saying_

_Then won't you slap my face_

_Because I'm bad, I'm bad_

_Jump on_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_You know it_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_You know it, you know_

_Woo! Woo! Woo!_

He winked at a couple more girls, and they fainted. He loved it when they did that; it meant he found a few who were desperate to have him. He liked girls like that; they gave him lots of attention, the one thing he desired above all else. He noticed it was starting to get late, so he waved good-bye to his crowd of fangirls and blew them all a kiss. He then turned and headed home to work on his flower garden.

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_Jump on_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_You know it, you know it_

_You know, you know_

_You know, you know_

_And the whole world has to answer right now_

_Just to tell you_

He enjoyed spending his time in the flower garden out back that kattjc planted for him. Flowers were a lot like him; they needed constant attention. He gave them all the right amount of water and headed inside, tired after a long day of flirting and working in the garden.

_You know I'm smooth, I'm bad_

_You know it_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_Baby_

_You know, you know_

_You know it, jump on_

_And the whole world has to answer right now_

_Woo!_

Chuckles headed over to his bedroom inside their chocolate house. It was almost completely empty, but he knew why; kattjc was saving all of her Neopoints to get them all painted. She was also saving up for the Lab Ray; Chuckles was going to be the Lab Rat until she won a Tyrannian Paint Brush from the wheel of Monotony for him. He couldn't wait to be painted Tyrannian; he'd look even cooler than he did now.

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_You know it_

_You know I'm bad, you know_

_Hoo!_

_You know I'm bad, I'm bad_

_You know it, you know_

_And the whole world has to answer right now_

_Just to tell you once again who's bad_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

A/N: Please R&R! Shylieanna, one of my two fictional pets, is next!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Here's the next song. This is one of my two fictional pets, so she doesn't actually exist. Oh well, let's get on with it!

Disclaimer: See last chapter

**A Song On A Page**

_Shylie – Stand My Ground_

Shylieanna, the second youngest pet in the family, quivered as she faced her opponent. The Ghost Lupe glared at her, causing her to shiver even more. This Lupe had been spooking her every day for the past few weeks and now she had had enough. She had been training and preparing for weeks on end, but now she wasn't so sure. The song on her pet page played in her mind, and she focused on it.

_I can see_

_When you stay low_

_Nothing happens_

_Does it feel right?_

_Late at night_

_Things I thought I put behind me_

_Haunt my mind_

This Lupe had constantly been sneaking into their house while they were all asleep, scaring her, and then escaping. She had become very irritated and was now ready for payback. Her siblings had helped as well; Kiri lent her some of her Battledome equipment, Keliza told her a few tricks about evading, Howler earned some money on his own and gave her a few abilities, Chuckles taught her to keep her muscles loosened to help her move faster, and Zen had told her to just have fun. However, kattjc gave her the best advice; always stand your ground.

_I just know there's no escape now_

_Once it sets its eyes on you_

_But I won't run_

_Have to stare it in the eyes_

The Ghost Lupe fiercely attacked the young Peophin, but she defended using an Ugga Marbleshield that she borrowed from Kiri. She charged at him, but he hit her with a blast from his Ghost Lupe Plasma Gun. She stumbled, but stood back up quickly.

_Stand my ground_

_I won't give in_

_No more denying_

_I've gotta face it_

_Won't close my eyes_

_And hide the truth inside_

_If I don't make it_

_Someone else will_

_Stand my ground_

Shylie threw Kiri's Mud Mixture and Illusen's Potion at the ghost, dealing a little damage. The Lupe charged and hit the Peophin again, but she staggered back to her hooves again.

_It's all around_

_Getting stronger_

_Coming closer_

_Into my world_

_I can feel_

_That it's time for me to face it_

_Can I take it?_

The Lupe lunged again, but Shylie remembered what Keliza taught her about evading and what Chuckles taught her about speed, so she loosened her muscles and jumped to her left, causing the attack to miss. Shylie felt tired and slightly weakened, so she used the Restore ability that Howler got for her to bring her health back up.

_Though this might just be the ending_

_Of the life I held so dear_

_But I won't run_

_There's no turning back from here_

The spooky Lupe threw a Super Lupurus Tooth into the air, creating a shower of sharp tooth pieces. Shylie winced, but stood her ground firmly. She would beat him, no matter what it took! She could see that he was tiring, but so was she.

_Stand my ground_

_I won't give in_

_No more denying_

_I've gotta face it_

_Won't close my eyes_

_And hide the truth inside_

_If I don't make it_

_Someone else will_

_Stand my ground_

The Ghost Lupe used Scorch against her before she had a chance to react. She stumbled, and collapsed onto her side, panting heavily. She was so tired; she didn't think that she could go on any more. She felt like giving up, and the Lupe noticed this. He sneered at her, walked up to her, and kicked some dirt onto her.

_All I know for sure_

_Is that I'm trying_

_I will always stand my ground_

Shylie felt the dirt on her and snorted angrily. The _nerve_ of that guy! He was such a jerk! Slowly, she turned onto her front and started pushing herself up. She would not give up; not until she had beaten him! She didn't train so long and hard to let him walk away like this! She got to her hooves and charged again, hatred blazing in her eyes.

_Stand my ground_

_I won't give in_

_I won't give up_

_No more denying_

_I've gotta face it_

_Won't close my eyes_

_And hide the truth inside_

_If I don't make it_

_Someone else will_

The Lupe tried to fight back, but she hit him with Kiri's Astronomy Club and Accursed Mittens before he could react. He attacked her again, but she dodged to the right. She then took out a weapon that kattjc had gotten especially for her; the Wand Of The Light Faerie. She put all of her focus into it and hit the Ghost Lupe with a blast of light. At the same time her Gruslen, Sandpaw, jumped into the fight and hit the Lupe too. He howled in pain and fell to the ground, defeated.

_Stand my ground_

_I won't give in_

_No more denying_

_I've gotta face it_

_Won't close my eyes_

_And hide the truth inside_

_If I don't make it_

_Someone else will_

_Stand my ground_

Shylie fell to the ground, panting and gasping. She was so tired that she didn't she could walk for a week! kattjc came over to her and gently helped her up. She smiled weakly and limped towards the exit.

"You were so brave, Shylie. I'm so proud of you," kattjc said softly. Sandpaw barked in agreement and nuzzled her owner affectionately. Shylie smiled, too tired to speak, and closed her eyes. She _really_ needed the rest!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Like it? Zen's up next and last!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Here's my last one. I hope someone reviews sometime soon! This one is especially funny.

Disclaimer: I'm getting really sick of this

**A Song On A Page**

_Zen – Your Horoscope For Today_

It all happened on a chilly winter morning. Zennicus smiled his usual goofy grin as he pulled out a newspaper that kattjc had brought from her home world; the one she went to after she logged out. He was only interested in one thing; horoscopes. Some of them were really funny, and he loved to take a peak at them. Whenever his family heard him laughing at the really stupid ones, they always guessed that he was looking at the comics. How wrong they were. He thought about the song on his pet page and how these horoscopes sounded exactly like the ones in his song. Oh, well; that didn't matter to him.

_Aquarius_

_There's travel in your future_

_When your tongue freezes_

_To the back of a speeding bus_

_Fill that void_

_In your pathetic life_

_By playing Whack-A-Mole_

_Seventeen hours a day_

Suddenly he heard a commotion outside. He went to the window and noticed a poor Chia with his tongue frozen to the back of a fast-moving bus. In his stubby little hands was a mini Whack-A-Mole game. Zen looked after them, then shrugged and went back to reading.

_Pisces_

_Try to avoid_

_Any Virgos or Leos_

_With the Ebola virus_

_You are the true_

_Lord of the Dance_

_No matter what_

_Those idiots at work say_

Zen then heard screaming outside. A Kyrii was dancing gracefully along the street, trying to get away from a Skeith and a Scorchio who were letting out diarrhea, looking very feverish, vomiting, and had rashes, bloody noses and reddish eyes.

"What's Ebola virus? Oh well; I don't know, I don't wanna know, and I don't care," Zen said to himself.

_Aries_

_The look on your face will be priceless_

_When you find that 40-pound watermelon_

_In your colon_

_Trade toothbrushes_

_With an albino dwarf_

_And give a hickey_

_To Meryl Streep_

Zen looked out the window again, noticing a Shoyru with a massive bulge in his colon. An albino dwarf appeared out of nowhere and handed the Shoyru a toothbrush, and the Shoyru gave one to the dwarf. Meryl Streep was nearby (how she got there I have no idea) showing off many hickey marks that she got recently.

_Taurus_

_You will never find true happiness_

_What ya gonna do_

_Cry about it?_

_The stars predict_

_Tomorrow you'll wake up_

_Do a bunch of stuff_

_And then go back to sleep_

Zen then noticed a sad looking Acara crying on the street. She walked into her house and shut the door, ready to go to sleep.

_That's your horoscope for today, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay_

_That's your horoscope for today_

_That's your horoscope for today, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay_

_That's your horoscope for today_

"Pretty weird… all of the horoscopes are coming true. I'd better get to ours quickly!" Zen and his entire family, except for kattjc, shared the same star sign. Quickly he went back to reading the horoscopes.

_Gemini_

_Your birthday party will be ruined_

_Once again by your explosive flatulence_

_Your love life will_

_Run into trouble_

_When your fiancé_

_Hurls a javelin through your chest_

Zen then noticed a Lenny wearing a birthday hat embracing a young Lutari. After the Lenny let loose an explosive fart, the Lutari jumped back, picked up a conveniently-placed javelin, and hurled it right through the Lenny's chest. The Lutari walked away while the Lenny limped off to the nearest portal to the Faerieland Healing Springs.

_Cancer_

_The position of Jupiter says_

_That you should spend the rest of the week_

_Face down in the mud_

_Try not to shove_

_A roll of duct tape_

_Up your nose while_

_Taking your driver's test_

The Xweetok noticed a Wocky driving in a car made for Driver's Tests. The Wocky had a roll of duct tape up his nose, and crashed into the food store, The Wocky went flying and landed face down in a mud puddle.

"Here it is! Leo!" Zen said happily, ignoring what was happening outside.

_Leo_

_Now is not a good time to_

_Photocopy your butt and staple it to_

_Your boss' face, oh no_

_Eat a bucket of_

_Tuna-flavored pudding_

_Then wash it down with_

_A gallon of Strawberry Quik_

"I'd better get to Howler; he starts that new job today!" Then he heard screaming and noticed Howler running down the street, his Elephante boss in hot pursuit with a picture of the Lupe's butt stapled to her face. Howler was carrying two things, a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding and a gallon of Strawberry Quik.

"Never mind," Zen said quietly as he continued reading.

_Virgo_

_All Virgos are extremely_

_Friendly and intelligent except for you_

_Expect a big_

_Surprise today when you wind up_

_With your head impaled upon a stick_

He then noticed an Aisha snapping at a Grarrl. The Grarrl was much bigger than the Aisha, so that Aisha was probably very stupid. The Aisha got whacked aside and a stick went right through his head. Standing up weakly, he went in the same direction as the Lenny before.

_That's your horoscope for today, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay_

_That's your horoscope for today_

_That's your horoscope for today, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay_

_That's your horoscope for today_

Zen laughed as his sisters and brother walked by. Kiri smiled, noticing how cheerful he was.

"Hey, Zen. Reading the comics?" Kiri asked.

"Nope. Daily horoscopes. You'll never _believe_ some of the trash they put in here! It's hilarious. Check them out!"

_Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least_

_A bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the_

_Stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that_

_Exclusively applies to only you but let me give you my assurance  
That these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid_

_Scientific documented evidence so you would have to be some_

_Kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is_

_Absolutely true_

_Where was I?_

"Wow, these are pretty strange. Check out these ones over at the bottom," Chuckles pointed out.

"You mean the last four?" Shylie asked.

"That's probably it," Keliza muttered.

"I haven't gotten there yet. I'm going to look at them now," Zen explained.

_Libra_

_A big promotion is_

_Just around the corner for_

_Someone much more talented than you_

_Laughter is the_

_Very best medicine_

_Remember that when your_

_Appendix bursts next week_

"Yeehaw! I just got promoted!" Zen looked out the window and saw a cheerful Tuskaninny jumping around and singing in the street. A Poogle walked out of a building after him, glaring daggers all the way.

_Scorpio_

_Get ready for an unexpected trip when_

_You fall screaming from an open window_

_Work a little bit harder_

_On improving your_

_Low self-esteem_

_You stupid freak_

Suddenly they heard a scream and noticed a Blumaroo falling out a window. The Blumaroo got up and sighed, mumbling some inaudible words while slowly trudging away.

_Sagittarius_

_All your friends are laughing_

_Behind your back: KILL THEM_

_Take down all_

_Those naked pictures of_

_Ernest Borgnine you've got_

_Hanging in your den_

They then noticed a Bori growling at a laughing Gnorbu and Krawk, then attacked them fiercely. In the Bori's claws were rolled up pictures of some kind.

"Hey! Here's kattjc's sign!" Keliza pointed out.

_Capricorn_

_The stars saw that you're an exciting and _

_Wonderful person but you know they're lying_

_If I were you I'd_

_Lock my doors and windows_

_And never, never, never_

_Never, never leave my house again_

"Doesn't she already do that?" Kiri pointed out.

"True, true. You know, maybe these predictions are true," Keliza mentioned.

"Impossible. Well, I'm off to work," Chuckles said.

"Whatever you do, don't photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss' face!" Zen warned. They all looked at him strangely after that. "What? Howler did it this morning!"

"I don't wanna know," Shylie muttered as they all separated.

_That's your horoscope for today, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay_

_That's your horoscope for today_

_That's your horoscope for today, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay_

_That's your horoscope for today_

_That's your horoscope for today, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay_

_That's your horoscope for today_

_That's your horoscope for today, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay_

_That's your horoscope for today_

Zen smiled as he turned the pages, ignorant of the chaos outside. If the horoscopes were _this_ funny, imagine how funny the comics would be!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Finished! By the way, I made this chapter for pure humor.


End file.
